If you are a parent or grandparent you most likely want health and happiness for your family. Sometimes they just don’t do what you think might work for those two objectives. You have ideas but you KNOW that they will probably be polite, listen and turn right around and do the opposite of what you advise. Why is that? I say it’s because you tried to “sell” them prior to “marketing” to them.
Maybe we don’t take enough time to ask, learn, and take a real interest in the wants and needs of our family members. Sometimes I make rash conclusions about my kids without information. I need to be interested in what’s really going on that might be affecting their health and happiness. I realize that they know me and like me…they just don’t trust me. They might not even trust themselves.
The only way I know how to earn trust from anyone is to be authentic, interested (as opposed to interesting) and nonjudgmental in attitude and communication. It’s not a secret. People don’t care what you know until they know that you care. I just used to get in my own way. My mind said: “I need to help this person.” My words, however, came out directing, advising, trying to convince that person to “see it my way” I had to stop that…break that habit and learn to “stop, look and listen”. Just shut up, Larry. Sometimes, if people are comfortable with you (they trust you enough to speak their heart and mind) they solve whatever it is that you thought you were put on this earth to do. If they have trouble with an issue, say this: “Hmm… I don’t quite understand, tell me more.” They will then stop, look (into their minds) and listen to their problem solving conscience. They end up trusting you. Weird, huh? If you’re married, ask your wife.
So… What Does This Have to Do with Marketing?
If it’s true that we want health and happiness for our loved ones, might we also want that for ourselves? I think “yes”. So, why don’t we have all the health and happiness that life can muster. Additionally, why aren’t we healthy, happy marketers experiencing success. I submit it’s because we kinda know ourselves, and maybe like ourselves but we do NOT trust ourselves. How many mistakes have you made as a marketer. I know, I’ve made plenty…maybe $50,000 dollars worth. Sometimes we are impetuous, erratic, undisciplined, or just plain greedy. I suggest the “Stop-Look-and Listen” formula. I’ll share more about this in the Encovery class….the free version, for now, however, let’s realize that we must learn to apply the same “success” principles to our chosen “niche” that we do to loving our family. Being a good marketer also means being a good listener, non-judgemental, and ask good questions. What Questions?
What? Where? Why? When? Who? How? How Much? (time, money, and effort) Figure it out. With regard to marketing… What do you want to market? Where is your market found? Why that, and there? When will you start? Who will you market to and who will help you? How will you do it (your POA, daily activities)? What’s you budget and where will you get your marketing money?. That’s pretty much it. So what’s the holdup? To me, it’s easy. We guess. Our need to be right overshadows logic. Emotion rules the day. I used to make my plans based on; “Ya…that feels right” …” Just do it”. OOOOOOps! Lost money again. So….over a period of years, and failing at some fairly important things, I developed Encovery. Why. I wanted to be an authentic, serving marketer that makes a contribution to others. I also wanted to make a living and be a better example for my family. I learned to stop, look inside, and listen to my conscience. It took some doing.
It’s All in The Mind (and Brain)
Our brain is a movie camera. It takes motion pictures of everything and stores them. Sometimes it functions as a video camera with sound, color, and special effects. It all gets stored in the cerebral cortex. Your life…every perception, real and imaginary…it’s all there. Some of those memories are long forgotten. Some very conscious. It’s the unconscious ones that impede and stop us short of health and happiness…a bunch of forgotten perceptions that run our lives. It happens through neuronets…collections of information transfer through dendrites and axons in the billions. Simply put, much of our behavior is automatic, unconscious and based in perceptions that were recorded prior to speech. Therefore, we cannot articulate them. We had no words. They just run amok in the tissue sheets of our memory affecting our behavior every day. Would you like to take a look at yours?
Encovery: Stop, Look and Listen
We have a tendency to complicate this. Have you ever played “Hide and Seek?” Some of your perceptions are hiding. Let’s seek them out, OK? Sometimes, when we seek someone hiding, we have to get creative, right?,,trick them into giving up their position. The same holds true with our mind and hidden memories. I’ll walk you through this in a future post. For now, let’s just start. There’s no right or wrong. Just play…you will get it your own way.
Find a quiet place; relax; close your eyes; find a forest in your brain right behind your eyes; find a childhood hero in your forest…a pleasant super hero kind of powerful one; your hero’s dominant trait is that he knows all about you…all your experiences and secrets…back to your birth; ask him/her/it a question that you’ve been wondering about that stops you from accomplishing something; listen; chat; ask other questions; listen. Do not worry about old memories coming up…you’re just looking, listening. You don’t have to do anything. You’ll be just fine.
The Magic of Observation
In Quantum Physics, particles, when observed, can also behave as waves. Interesting. In our brains, observation also has a similar effect. When an imaginary experience (usually a feeling induced picture in forgotten memory) is observed, it disappears. Why? It is a mirage…a picture or experience that produced a feeling that is not real. Those feelings (recorded as movies) impact our behavior. Your Super Hero will guide you to observe them. They will disappear. You will be freed from them so that you might move forward. Remember: Nothing Happens Until Something Moves.
Stay tuned for the next post: “Encovery for Dummies”